JoKeS !!!

Police Story:

Lady calls up police department: Officer, there is a man exposing himself in the next building.
Dispatcher: OK, we'll be right over, lady.
(Five minutes later at her apartment.)
Officer: Which way, lady?
Lady: This way officer, he's still shamelessly baring himself.
Officer: Where is he, lady? I don't see no naked man.
Lady: Oh, you have to look through this telescope.

The WoodCutter:

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he began crying, God appeared.
"Why are you crying?" The woodcutter told Him that he had dropped his axe into water.
God went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.
"Is this your axe?", God asked.
"No"
God again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?", God asked.
"No".
God went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?", God asked.
"Yes".
God was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all the three axes. The woodcutter went home happily.

One day while he was walking with his wife along the river, his wife fell into the river. When he began crying, God appeared.
"Why are you crying?"
"My wife has fallen into water."
God went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?", God asked.
"Yes", he said.
God was furious, "You cheat! Now I am going to curse you......"
The woodcutter quickly said, "Forgive me My Lord. It is a misunderstanding. If I say NO to Jennifer Lopez, you will come up with Catherine Zeta Jones. If I also say NO to her, you will finally come up with my wife and I will say YES. Then you will give all the three to me. I am a poor man. I will not be able to look after all the three. So that's why I said YES!"